Creative Identity Mapping: Who am I beneath the noise?
When you have spent a lot of time being criticised, corrected, compared to others, or expected to hide your emotions, it can become difficult to separate who you are from the messages you have received about who you should be.
The way we see ourselves is shaped by many things — our experiences, relationships, successes and struggles, as well as the messages we receive from other people. Over time, criticism, expectations, comparisons or difficult experiences can become part of the way we think and talk about ourselves.
This exercise is about stepping back from those messages and exploring the bigger picture of who you are — including the parts of yourself that may have been overlooked, misunderstood, criticised or hidden.
There is no correct way to create your map. Use words, drawings, colours, symbols, pictures, lines or whatever makes sense to you.
1. Start with YOU
Place yourself somewhere in the centre of the page. Around yourself, add anything that feels like part of who you are.
You might include:
Things you enjoy
Things you care about
Interests you can become completely absorbed in
Things you are curious about
Qualities you recognise in yourself
Things other people appreciate about you
Your sense of humour
Things that make you angry or upset
Things you are sensitive to
Things that energise you
People or places where you feel most yourself
Things you are proud of
Roles and relationships that matter to you
Values or principles that are important to you
Things you would like to explore or become
Don't worry about whether something is a "good" or "bad" characteristic. The aim is to map you, not create an ideal version of yourself.
2. Add the Voices Around You
Around the outside of your map, add some of the messages you have received from other people about who you are or how you should behave. These might be things that have been said directly or messages you picked up indirectly.
For example:
"You're too sensitive."
"Stop being dramatic."
"Why can't you just do it?"
"You're lazy."
"Don't make a fuss."
"You should be able to cope with this."
"Other people manage it."
You don't need to identify who said each thing unless that feels useful.
Now ask:
Which of these voices have found their way inside my head?
Draw those messages closer to yourself or connect them to the parts of your map they tend to affect.
3. Look Beneath the Labels
Choose a few negative labels or criticisms that have become particularly powerful. Instead of accepting the label, get curious about what might actually sit underneath it.
For example:
"Lazy"
Could there also be difficulty initiating boring tasks, overwhelm, exhaustion, perfectionism, unclear expectations or difficulty knowing where to begin?
"Too sensitive"
Could there also be emotional awareness, empathy, rejection sensitivity, strong values or noticing things other people miss?
"Too much"
Could there also be enthusiasm, excitement, humour, passion, intensity or wanting connection?
"Disorganised"
Could there also be creativity, competing ideas, difficulty prioritising, time blindness or a brain that doesn't naturally organise information in a linear way?
Add whatever you discover to your map. The aim isn't to turn every difficulty into a strength. Some things genuinely make life harder. Instead ask:
Is the label telling the whole story?
4. Map the Parts You Learned to Hide
Create another area for parts of yourself that you tend to suppress, minimise or keep private.
These might include:
Anger
Sadness
Excitement
Vulnerability
Asking for help
Saying no
Disagreeing
Being playful or silly
Talking about something you love
Showing how strongly you feel
Having needs
Making mistakes
Doing something differently from everyone else
For each one, consider:
What did I learn might happen if I showed this part of myself?
Then ask:
Do I still want or need to hide it now?
Some parts may still need protection. Others might be ready for a little more space.
5. Find the Places Where You Feel Most Like Yourself
Think about situations where there is less pressure to perform, explain yourself or get things right.
This might be:
With particular people
When you are alone
Doing something creative
Engaging with a favourite interest
Being outdoors
Playing games
Listening to music
At work or study
With animals
Online
Somewhere completely different
Add these places or situations to your map.
Ask yourself:
What version of me appears here?
What becomes easier when I don't feel judged?
What does this tell me about who I am?
6. Decide What Gets to Stay
Look over everything you have created. Imagine that you, rather than your family, teachers, partners, friends or past experiences, get to decide what belongs in your identity.
You might:
Circle things that feel genuinely like you
Cross out labels you no longer accept
Rewrite criticisms in language that feels more accurate
Move other people's voices further away
Make hidden parts larger
Add boundaries around things you want to protect
Add question marks to things you aren't sure about yet
Highlight parts of yourself you want to explore more
You don't have to replace every negative belief with a positive one.
"Maybe that's not the whole story" is enough.
7. Reflection
When you look at your finished map, consider:
What surprised me?
Which parts feel most like me?
Which parts have been defined by other people's opinions?
Which criticisms have become part of my own self-talk?
What parts of myself have I learned to make smaller?
What happens when I view my ADHD traits with curiosity rather than judgement?
Where do I feel safest being fully myself?
Which parts of myself would I like other people to see more often?
What am I still figuring out?
If I wasn't trying to become the person other people think I should be, who might I give myself permission to be?
Your map does not need to be finished. Identity isn't something you have to solve. You can keep changing, questioning and adding to it as you learn more about yourself.
